Big Week Jitters

Sitting in the living room drinking a hard apple cider (only thing I could find) trying desperately to wind down. I hate taking really early flights – not because I’m not a morning person – I totally am, but because I have such a difficult time falling asleep to begin with. Scarlett falls asleep with such ease. She will read a few pages of her book and be off and snoring in a matter of minutes. Meanwhile I’m laying there with a thousand thoughts circling my head. I toss…and I turn. I roll over and try to concentrate on just my breathing and blackness and then pick up a train of thought that will occupy me for the next 20 minutes. Then I roll over to the other side and try relaxation techniques to slowly put each body part to sleep, but then I remember something that I want to do tomorrow or that happened today and once again I am occupied for yet another 20 minutes…and so on, and so forth. So sleep is hard. Once I’m down it’s pretty good. I typically sleep through the night. It’s just the falling that doesn’t happen like it should.

Tonight is no different, but it means so much more because we have to be up at 2:30am to get up and get ready and get in the car by 3:30am to drive out to the Denver Airport to catch a flight out to Buffalo. This is the big week! Scarlett and I get married this coming Sunday! I don’t want to be a desperate, mindless, sleepy wreck. I really just want to go to sleep so I can at least have a couple hours before I have to get back up and hit the ground running. Right now it is 11:55pm. Getting pretty damn close huh?

So here I am on her computer. It’s down here and ready so I snagged it. Thankfully we did most of our packing already so I will only require partial functionality in 2 and a half hours. I’m just so afraid of forgetting something. There is this little hook that is stitched into the inside pocket of my laptop case. You know the kind, typically you use it to tether a set of keys or a badge of some sort. I actually attached my ring to that hook before bed. I’m so petrified that I will wake up and be in such a hurry that we will be almost to the airport before I realize that I don’t have my wedding ring with me! That would be a mess! I’m just proud that I thought of it and made the concessions to cover any possible catastrophe.

The next few days are going to be so busy. Luckily we have kept tomorrow fairly clear. We only made room for travel. We won’t actually be landing in Buffalo, NY until around 5pm so by then I figure we drive the hour to Lockport, check-in, grab some dinner, and then head to bed. No friends, no family…nothing.  Just us. That’s comforting. Thursday we have to be up first thing in the morning for a 9am appointment to get the marriage license. From there its going to be a whirlwind until the day of the wedding.

I’m actually getting really excited for the wedding. To date it has been so stressful planning a long distance wedding that I haven’t really allowed myself to bask in the excitement of it all. I was asked the other day if I had cold feet. Quite the contrary, I’ve never been so certain of anything in my life. I know Scarlett is it for me and I am completely content with the notion of spending the rest of my life with her. I’m just stressed about getting everything together. Now that we are down to the wire it’s feeling really real and it’s finally feeling like it’s all coming together. We still have so much to do, but now we’re in the last lap…Sunday is just around the corner.

I can’t wait to see my friends and family. To share this special day with the most special people in my life. I feel blessed to have so many wonderful and loving folks in my life. To have everyone there has meant so much to me, to both of us really.

Well, it’s 12:07am. I guess I should take another shot at getting some rest before that damn alarm clock goes off and scares the living daylights out of me.

Goodnight world.

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